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Urge Clients to Create Transition Plan

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Five topics to discuss.

The call came Friday evening, after working hours. “Mom took a fall and broke her hip. We’re with Dad now and will be moving them to assisted living as soon as mom is able.” Mom and Dad had been clients for years. Sharp, vibrant and joyful, they had always been completely capable and clear as to how they wanted to be living their life. A single medical emergency, though, was going to lead to a lot of changes in their life, and I worried that their out-of-town daughter, with the best intentions, might not support the clients that I knew so well.

You can help support your clients’ aging priorities by suggesting they create their own transition plans before an emergency directs their future. A transition plan addresses important decisions that everyone must make at changing points in their lives. By discussing these ahead of time, partners can feel informed and more confident in an emergency situation. Also, they can more thoroughly understand each other’s priorities even in making decisions for each other. Here are five topics to discuss with aging clients to help them plan for their own transitions, before their children take over.

Critical Information

When any calamity strikes, having contacts and medical information available at your fingertips often makes all the difference. Soon after your clients experience any serious event, they’ll likely be asked for a medical history, medication list and their family and professional contacts. Remembering this information or accessing it can be especially difficult for anyone when they’re in shock, overwhelmed or preoccupied with concern for their partner.

Help your clients be prepared by compiling vital information ahead of time. The list should start with the names and contact information for anyone they would like to be contacted in an emergency. It should go on to include any allergies, medical conditions and their current medications’ names and dosages. And the list should include medical insurance as well as any current or preferred medical professionals and phone numbers. This is the bare minimum for a critical information list, and your clients should always keep the list with them. Some clients will save this information as a list or information app on their smart phone. Others will have a written note folded in their wallet.

A complete critical organizer is a valuable resource for your clients, and you can help them compile it. It will involve much more information including the location of important documents, account and insurance policy numbers and financial and legal contacts. It also should include logins and passwords or at least information as to where to find current logins and passwords. Some clients can compile all this information in a cloud-based password manager. Most of the current applications have categories for secure information in addition to passwords. Other clients will want to fill in a physical booklet. There are books available for sale that offer easy organization of this information, and you can also find some online options from a number of associations.

Health Transitions

We’ve all had the heartbreak of seeing a client experience a life-changing medical event. So often, a child steps in to take charge, and they must quickly make important decisions about your client’s care and future. This is often the most common fear that aging clients share with us—that their child will make uninformed decisions for them. You can help your clients address this concern by helping them pre-plan for their own potential health needs.

First, while your client should have a valid advanced directive, encourage them to discuss and decide in what circumstances they might want someone to help with health-related decisions even if they aren’t fully incapacitated. Being clear on this ahead of time can help reduce the anxiety of letting someone else assist. Also, suggest that clients discuss who they would like to rely on for this help—for example, a friend, a family member or even a third-party professional. A couple’s legal documents probably name each other, but perhaps there’s a child or friend they believe will work best with them if needed. Your clients can reach out to that individual ahead of time to see if they’re comfortable with the request, and it’s best to keep a document or letter for reference that identifies to whom that first call should be in a medical emergency.

Next, help your clients think about their preferred medical professionals and facilities. In an emergency, an unprepared family member may reach out to the closest or most available professionals. Your clients, however, probably already know the medical facilities and professionals they prefer. Encourage them to keep a list of these so that if someone steps in to help them, it’s clear whom your clients prefer. For example, if your clients need home care, they may already know of a well-respected individual in the neighborhood that they would like much better than a random health agency placement.

Finally, encourage your clients to talk to their partners about their preferences for some of the most difficult diagnoses. For example, legal directives have still not caught up with the many nuances of a cognitive decline. Your clients likely have strong feelings as to how they would like to be cared for if they’re diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or suffer a mentally debilitating stroke. These are excruciating situations to discuss with family members but may be easier to discuss honestly with a partner. If your clients are clear with each other ahead of time, it’s much easier for their wishes to be carried out when appropriate. Of course, even though it may not be legally binding, a signed letter or document of their wishes and intent can be very powerful.

Living Transitions

Whether by medical crisis or aging, a time may come when your clients need a different living arrangement. Help them plan this move in accordance with their own preferences so they don’t end up somewhere picked after quick research by a concerned child. Today, new housing choices are springing up regularly in every market: from independent rental options that offer meals and activities to luxury continuing care communities that can compete with the most sought-after spa hotels but offer medical support and memory care if needed. The options today are varied and plentiful. Unfortunately, if a housing change becomes a critical necessity, children are often just dialing for vacancies regardless of our clients’ preferences.

Your clients probably already know the places they prefer. They also know the places they would never want to live! Encourage them to not only keep a list but also to stop putting off a visit to the places they would consider. Help them see how taking the time to visit and evaluate places expand their independence when the time comes. Many locations have long waitlists, and it may be worth encouraging your clients to put their names on the list at a few places. They can always keep turning down the availability when a call comes; if the day comes that they need to make a move, they’ll already have standing with their preferred residences.

One client was denied a spot at a great residence because in the interview they were emphatic, “My children are forcing me to move.” Instead, that client ended up in another community that wasn’t as nice. If they had visited ahead of time and made it their own plan, I’m sure they would have wanted that first place that denied them; no one wants to feel their living arrangements are someone else’s decision.

Driving Transitions

There’s almost no way to avoid damaging family relations when children feel they need to stop their parents from driving. It may be safest for all, but few people leave those conversations feeling happy. Some cultures brilliantly honor elders with a value that driving isn’t a privilege but a labor; elders have the honor of sitting in back and being chauffeured by younger family members. The United States hasn’t embraced that culture, and we can only try to help our clients be mindful about their own abilities and driving risks.

Each state has its own laws regarding aging drivers. Investigate those rules for your clients, and make them aware of the specific requirements and their rights under those requirements. Also, you can point them to resources from AAA and AARP that offer objective driving assessments as well as resources for children to consider their parents’ driving. You can point your clients to these assessments and encourage them to discuss with their partners how and when they might alert each other to declining driving skills. Also, you can encourage your clients to review the resources that their children will read, preparing them for any unexpected interventions from their children.

Financial Transitions

These days, all financial and legal professionals are increasingly alert to elder scams and abuse. Still, our most shrewd clients aren’t always immune to the latest attacks. You can help your clients by encouraging them to review their credit card charges regularly, especially if they have a bill pay provider or have put their credit cards on autopayment. Also, encourage your clients to check their free credit report annually. If your clients have no need for new credit checks, help them put a credit freeze on all three credit reporting services. This stops anyone from accessing their credit information. If they do need a credit check, they can remove the freeze for a specific period of time.

Discuss ahead of time with your clients how they would like you to interact with their children or any other trusted contact now and in future circumstances. If they need help with everyday financial management, do they want you to work with a child, or do they prefer you coordinate daily money management? Ask how they would like you to respond if a child calls you and wants to discuss some financial matter related to your clients. Even with the best relationship, if there’s no power of attorney (POA) in place, you can’t take directions from other family members without client confirmation. Some clients are comfortable with well-meaning, proactive children who contact you; other clients want to keep their affairs private unless a legal POA is triggered. Discuss with your clients how to protect them and yourself as they age.

A Long Relationship

Today’s aging clients are more active, vital and proactive than ever before. They want to chart their own course and define their independence no matter their changing circumstances. We’ll be professional partners with our clients today many years longer than previous generations of professionals, and our clients today look to us as trusted professionals in many aspects of their life. We can honor that trust by helping clients to build transition plans before change is needed; plans that can help reduce stress and uncertainty in difficult times no matter who’s making critical decisions.


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