This past September, I was privileged to participate in a panel discussion entitled “Women & Wealth: Planning Challenges and Strategies for Female Clients.” The event was hosted by a dear friend, Jonathan I. Shenkman of Oppenheimer & Co. Inc., and the discussion was moderated by Trusts & Estates’ editor in chief, Susan R. Lipp. When I was first asked to speak, I thought the discussion would focus primarily on the strategies, challenges and special circumstances that female clients face in the areas of elder law and trusts and estates. In fact, a great deal of the conversation did focus on the client and the planning, but our panel, comprised of only female attorneys, also spoke about the challenges we’ve faced specifically as women in our fields. Admittedly, this topic has always been a difficult one for me to address. Many of us like to believe that we exist in a world where the challenges one faces as a female practitioner are no different than those of our male counterparts. But, the reality is that although many of us have been extremely lucky to have been born into a world where many of the gender barriers the previous generation encountered have been broken down, there still remain many hurdles to overcome. While discussing this topic during our panel, I was forced (in a good way) to face this reality head-on and share my thoughts about the challenges that I’ve personally dealt with as a young woman in this field.
Founding a law firm is still a relatively new subject for me—the law firm I co-founded with my longtime friend Jay Klear is only a little more than a half-year old. While the last six months have been incredibly rewarding, presumably both a function of the excitement of beginning a new chapter and the area of law in which we practice (primarily elder law), I think that the more important part of the story isn’t where the firm is now, but the journey that brought me to take the leap into starting a new law firm.
Mother’s Footsteps
I’ve found that many attorneys never really intended on becoming lawyers. For example, my sister and sister-in-law, both lawyers, suffered from the “English Major’s Dilemma.” As college was coming to an end, they struggled with what the next chapter would bring. And so, with no other career ideas that excited them, they went to law school. And, they both became successful attorneys. It’s not what they planned, but it’s what happened. And, their stories seem to be a recurring theme among many of the attorneys I meet at bar association and other events. For me, however, the story is quite different. I actually never intended on becoming anything other than an attorney. Truth be told, it never occurred to me that I was qualified for anything else. As a young teenager, I would sit in my mother’s home office and help her draft wills and guardian ad litem reports. I would soak up her phone conversations, and I knew at that young age that I wanted to follow in my mother’s footsteps. But, our paths to opening our own law firms were very different.
My mother, Hedy Forspan, Esq. (1950-2001), graduated from The Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law in New York City in 1990, at age 40. She had gone back to school when I, the youngest of her three daughters at the time, was two years old. She graduated while pregnant with my brother. My mother started her own firm right out of law school! And, she hit the ground running, accumulating clients and referral sources within a matter of months. Within a few years, she not only had a bustling solo law practice but also was the director of Cardozo’s tax clinic. And, she used her newly acquired legal skills to become an advocate for so many less fortunate individuals.
Starting Out
My story is quite different from my mother’s. I graduated law school at age 23, two weeks after I got married. I had virtually no prior work experience, save a summer associate position, and I lacked something important that my mother always seemed to have in abundance: confidence. I was fortunate enough to graduate from a great law school at a time when the economy hadn’t yet turned sour. A month after taking the bar exam, I began my associate position at Ernst & Young LLP, where I focused on the tax issues involved in the areas of executive compensation/mergers and acquisitions. It wasn’t exactly what I’d set out to do, and not exactly what I had my heart set on, but I gained tremendous experience and forged some of the most wonderful professional relationships of my career.
I was fortunate enough to be promoted to Tax Manager within a few years, but as wonderful as my EY years were, I knew that something was missing. My desire to become a trusts and estates/elder law attorney was constantly pulling at me. I remembered the ways in which my mother was able to make a real difference in peoples’ lives, particularly at very difficult times. I knew that I wanted to help people qualify for Medicaid and plan their estates in ways in which they could protect their disabled relatives. And of course, I knew I couldn’t abandon my deep love of all things tax. Thus, after a number of years at EY, I decided to leave the firm and delve into the world of elder law and trusts and estates.
A Career Change
While I knew that I wanted a career change, one in which I’d be able to make a positive impact on peoples’ lives, I lacked the confidence and more importantly, the experience, to open my own firm. Although the economy wasn’t great, I was fortunate enough to land an almost entry-level position at a small (10 attorney) trusts and estates/elder law firm primarily based on Long Island, N.Y. There were no female partners, but the male partners were good people, and I maintain a wonderful relationship with them to this day. My goal at that stage in my career was simple: gain as much experience in the field as I possibly could. And, that’s exactly what I did. I worked on projects other firms would have had only paralegals work on. I prepared and submitted numerous Medicaid applications, both for home care and nursing home care services. I represented alleged incapacitated persons, petitioners and cross-petitioners in adult guardianship cases, both contested and uncontested. I drafted and oversaw the execution of many irrevocable Medicaid asset preservation trusts, wills, powers of attorneys and health care proxies. I also took the opportunity, working under one of the great tax minds, to develop my knowledge in the area of high and ultra-high-net-worth estate tax planning, through the work I did on grantor retained annuity trusts, intentionally defective grantor trusts and other estate tax planning projects. And on weekends, I read, and read and read some more. For the first time in my life, I was driven to become the very best professional I could be. Looking back, what was the source of this newfound drive? Up until that point, I’d never been so interested in an area of law before. But, the work that I was now involved in was tremendously fulfilling. The relationships I was fortunate enough to forge with my clients were incredible. I felt that I was finally making a difference in peoples’ lives and they, in turn, were making a huge impact on mine. I began to encourage other young attorneys to consider entering this field because of how rewarding I found it.
My Mentor
During my time at this entry-level turned mid-level position, I was beyond fortunate to be introduced to one of the greatest influences of my life: my mentor, the nationally renowned tax expert, Sidney Kess. Everyone who knows Sid either personally or professionally (likely almost all the readers) knows that once Sid takes an interest in you and your career, there’s no stopping him. Sid introduced me to hundreds of attorneys, CPAs and financial advisors, and he made sure that I would get a speaking slot (generally discussing various elder law issues) at his many conferences. Meeting Sid Kess was like winning the lottery.
A New Experience
After nearly a few years at that firm, I was lucky to be asked to become the managing attorney of a very high volume well-known elder law firm on Long Island. When I was first asked to take on this role, I didn’t quite feel up to it. Although I’d garnered a great deal of experience in the field, I still lacked the confidence I needed to take on the responsibility of a significant managerial role, particularly because the role would involve me, a 30 year old at the time, managing attorneys and staff with decades more experience. But, after a few months, I decided that I was as ready as I could be, and I decided to take the plunge. This experience was different from any one I’d encountered until that point because not only did I continue in my representation of clients, but also I was tasked with managing a firm of a number of attorneys, paralegals and support staff. Looking back, it’s clear to me that some “Higher Power” put me on this path. I needed to not only feel comfortable with my technical knowledge and my abilities as an attorney but also understand what it meant to lead a team and be accountable to both clients and staff members.
I spent almost four and a half years in that role when my now partner, Jay, approached me very delicately and asked if I wanted to start a law firm together. Jay, an experienced corporate attorney and Columbia Law School graduate, who’d spent years at some of the most prestigious international and national law firms, sat across a table from me and explained that he was moved by my excitement about elder law, and to my surprise, he was inspired by my confidence. Of all things, my confidence. The one thing that I felt that I lacked throughout my professional career. If that wasn’t a sign that this was the right thing to do, I don’t know what else could have been.
Starting a New Firm
Starting a new firm was a scary proposition to me. Would I sit next to the phone waiting for it to ring? Would we have enough revenue to cover our rent and other expenses? Would I ever be able to afford to hire a paralegal or associate? And, the scariest questions that ran through my mind: Would people want to hire a young, female attorney without a big name behind her as their attorney? Would referral sources have enough confidence in me to entrust me with their clients? These were the fears that plagued me for, thankfully, what turned out to be a very short time. I learned very quickly that I wouldn’t need to worry too much about these things. What I didn’t realize at the very beginning was that during the last 11 years since graduating law school, I was able to build up an incredible professional network, not necessarily in size, but in quality. The relationships that I was fortunate enough to forge have carried us in these first number of months. And, the fear that no one would want to hire me because I was young and female was, thankfully, not actualized.
I’m so fortunate that the challenges that I faced as a woman starting a law firm is that those challenges have been relatively few. It was more a matter of overcoming that lack of belief in myself. I’m also fortunate to practice in a field in which being a female attorney is often (possibly subconsciously) seen as an asset rather than a liability. I’m hopeful that my built-up confidence will drive me to continue to help as many people as possible. For those young or new attorneys (both male and female) who ask if they should go out on their own in this field and others, I would definitely tell them to strongly consider it. I think that I would tell them to learn their subject matter as well as they possibly can and I would encourage them, as my mentors have encouraged me, to always reach for the stars and believe that the sky is the limit, because it really is.